15 ‘Good Life’ Lessons I’ve Taught My Humans
Hi, I’m Cyrus, an 8-year-old American Bulldog. I usually just tell people I’m a dog, though.
Over the years, I’ve noticed my simplified approach to life makes my humans really happy. They’re always saying stuff like “what a good life you have, Cyrus.” I figure I must be doing something right.
So I’ve come up with 15 “good life” tips I’d like to share with you. Hope you like them!
- Always be ready for adventure: My humans are outdoorsy, where all the good smells are. I get really excited when I know we’re gearing up for something fun outdoors. I’m always ready for adventure, day or night!
- Be patient: I can be very patient. I know this one trick where my human says “leave it!” I’m not supposed to take the treat. And I never do! Even though it’s kind of annoying. Why can’t I just have the treat.
- Enjoy the sun: But not too much, I’m told. Humans call it “tanning.” I call it “staying warm.” What? I have short hair!
- Laugh more: My humans are always laughing at me. I don’t really know why, but hey, if they’re happy, I’m happy. What’s so funny about catching a bug and keeping it alive to play with? Or only coming to the kitchen when I hear a package of cheese being opened?
- Life is short, enjoy it: You humans always have something to say about this one. Have you ever stopped to think how short life is for us dogs?! We have to pack all that action into a few good years! Which might explain why we’re so happy most of the time.
- Exercise often: Humans should be more like dogs when it comes to needing a lot of exercise. Some humans I know are so lazy! Sitting around watching the big glowing screen is only fun for a little awhile. Let’s go for a run!
- Take naps: Why do humans call it catnaps? Us dogs nap too, you know! I’m refreshed and ready for a long walk after a good nap. Sometimes I feel like life can’t get any better when I combine No. 3 with No. 7!
- Stick your head out the car window: The point of life is to have fun! I have a ton of fun sticking my head out the car window, as it’s one of my favorite things to do! You might look silly sticking your human head out the car window, but I guarantee you’ll have fun.
- Make games out of nothing: Sometimes I don’t even know why my humans buy me toys from the dog store. I can make a game out of anything. Sticks, snow—you name it. Try it when you’re bored!
- Cuddle more often: I hate to admit this because I’m supposed to be a tough guy, but I turn into a big crybaby if nobody cuddles with me. I love cuddling. Please don’t tell anyone!
- Be afraid of cats: I’m terrified of cats. You try getting a cat paw to the nose and then tell me they aren’t scary! Cats are not to be trusted.
- Bark less, wag more: I know, I know, you humans don’t have a tail like I do. But if you did, you would know wagging your tail means you’re really happy! The next time you feel like barking, just pretend to wag your tail. I promise it will help.
- Smell the roses: Actually, smell everything. OK, maybe not everything. That’s what I do. You humans think some things smell bad, when really they smell great! You should smell more good human stuff, though. Like roses.
- Always demand a comfortable bed: Some humans seem to think it’s OK for dogs to sleep on the hard floor. I’ve taught my humans otherwise! I demand nothing but the best when it comes to my bed. I whined and whined about my first bed because it was so uncomfortable. My humans finally gave in and bought me a really nice bed!
- Eat only one kind of food, your entire life: Just joking! This is not something I would recommend. It gets so boring! Especially when you humans sit there eating steak or bacon. Oh man, I could eat a lot of bacon!